From Queer To Cow

My husband is an IIT-ian from UP and I am pretty. We have been married despite my candid confession about not being straight. Our 4-day old marriage hit a low when he proposed sex. I protested and said I have given you 2 free healthy children, life-time subscription to Kingfisher calenders and a freeway pass to hitchhike every year on Diwali and Holi, what more do you want? He still insisted, the famous North Indian libido! He is an IIT-ian, I presumed he will be a virgin and was just curious. I hinted about my ill-will for anything straight. He suggested we watch Gunda, for mood formulation. Argh!!!! Bhaiyyaji's vocabulary. And thus we both watched. The narrative is immensely rich with subplots delving into polygamy, female infanticide, unsafe sex, political satire and brown humour. I loved the film and he loved it so much that he gave up his carnal desires. No, I am just kidding - he was as horny as any UP bwai will be in close proximity of anything fair that moves. Besides that, the film moves to another level of entertainment with rich innuendos and rhyming. The film also documents and then deconstructs the concept of 'villainy ' in Indian cinema. It's like having all the possible type of eggs on one plate. Poach, scrambled, sunny side up, sunny side quashed, bhurji, hard & soft boiled, omlette etc. I became a much better human being after watching this classic. I am now a typical feet pressing/massaging cow that TV talks about. I am discreetly involved in curing the gay of Sarai Rohilla. My husband is a now a very satisfied man. He is still an IIT-ian though. I am no more pretty. We have un-installed the 2 healthy kids, life-time subscription to Kingfisher calender stays and that free way pass is not free anymore.

“There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have seen “Gunda”. And those who shall see it.” ——Roger Abhert/Arnab Ray

Comments

Zilch... said…
I love your wild imaginations... you are just beyond what u portray... your detailing is the cheery on the cake...
hmm you are so no cliche.
You know what, You are DAMN FUNNY!!!
Astha Rawat said…
Kaash koi yun kehta, You are so funny - meri liye kaam karogi.
Unknown said…
You are brilliant..! Mere saath kaam karogi? :P
Astha Rawat said…
hahaha, sure sushant. meet my agent vinod and let's take it forward.
Jigar said…
Are you referring to Mithun's Gunda!?
Astha Rawat said…
There was, is and will be only one GUNDA.

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